Monday, November 12, 2012

Monday Musings...

So I had what some could consider a bad weekend.
 My son's father and I decided to call it splitsville and  he took my car ( which was actually his. ) This has left me boyfriendless and carless.
Thank GOD for my family who is standing by me and helping me in every way they possibly can.
What's really odd, is that even though I was upset for a few minutes Saturday ( literally ) when it all went down, after I calmed down, I felt this great feeling of peace and calm come over my body. Like a great weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I was free.
You see, my baby daddy and I don't get along. We've been together for 5 and a half years, split up several times and tried to work things out every time. As with most break-up/make-up relationships, it's great for a little while, but then everything goes back to normal. We fight over nothing and everything. In his eyes, he does no wrong and in mine, I'm the perfect angel my mother says I am.
I'd like to think that I'm a pretty good person. I do my best to not judge others or gossip. What choices other people make is not my business. I may not go to church every Sunday, but I live the Christian life the best I can. But it's hard to live with someone who does not share these morals with you.
In his eyes, I am just a bossy, mouthy pain in the tush who is lazy. Keep in mind, that for 90% of our relationship, I have been the only one employed. I think I do a good job of getting my lazy tush up every day, get to work, come home and spend time with my precious little prince. I think that's enough. I've given up most of my social life because of him. I wanted to badly to dedicate my life to being the perfect mom and wife. Apparently, to him, that wasn't enough.
When he was giving me the lecture about how lucky I was that he took me back, I was just staring at him. Not with disgust or anger or any other emotion that someone has when they have been broken up with, but with confidence. At that moment, I knew he was not the man I wanted him so badly to be, and as much as I have held out the hope that he would become this great man that would take care of me and our son, I realized he never will.
He is who he is, I am who I am.
You can only enter to ring to fight so much before you realize you need to throw in the towel before you get KO'ed. ( I think that was a great boxing analogy, and I don't watch boxing! )
I've been suffering with a great amount of depression since we've been together, especially in the past few years. I though it could be attributed to the birth of my son, but I realized I'm depressed because someone is making me feel worthless. On Saturday, when he was removed from the equation, I felt better. I felt even better yesterday and even more so today. I know every day will get better and I will be able to get my life back on track. Of course, being the empathetic person that I am, I wish him nothing bad. In fact, I pray for him. I pray that he can put his feelings for me aside to raise our son in a civilized and amicable manner. After all, my baby prince is the one who will hurt the most from our bad choices.
I'm walking away from a relationship with the father of my child, the only man I could see myself being married to, and I'm feeling pretty damn good about it.

Thursday, November 8, 2012

It's Ok Thursday

So, we've made it past Election Day and hump-day, and we're almost to the weekend! I have spent most of the week sick and I'm actually looking forwad to feeling better this weekend!
I'm linking up for another edition of It's Okay Thursday with Amber and Neely!

It's okay... that I'm actually hoping to feel better this weekend to be productive. Yes, I want to feel better to do housework. (I must still be sick!)

It's okay... to be confused that the exit polls I read on Wednesday said that 75% of people feel they are worse off today than they were four years ago, and they STILL THINK IT'S DUB-YA'S FAULT!!!

It's okay... to be an adult and still wake up in the morning wanting a cold glass of chocolate milk.

It's okay... to use your kid as an excuse to do the REALLY fun stuff, like watch Disney shows. If you haven't watched 'Good Luck Charlie' you're missing out! Love it!!!

It's okay... to use Wikipedia to look up answers to everything. C'mon, you know you do!

It's okay... to have writer's block for your blog and just keep up with link-ups. 

This week has been especially stressful for me, being sick and other issues going on. Hopefully I can tune in and zone out to some Disney this weekend!

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Sunday Social

Good Sunday morning everyone!

I'm linking up to another Sunday Social with Ashley & Neely!

1. What is currently on your wish list? new watches, a house keeping service, a new house with a larger closet.

2. Share a new iphone, droid, ipad app you have recently discovered that we all need. Honestly, I haven't been downloading any new apps. I saw one on TV the other day that can track your sleep cycles and will help wake you up before you fall back into a deep sleep. That sounds pretty neat, but I haven't tried it yet.

3. What is a new fall TV show you have added to your DVR? I've been watching Nashville. I am hooked. I'm not really one that watches prime time TV shows, but this one has snagged me!

4. Share your Social Media links for us to follow you on(pinterest, twitter, facebook, etc). Tell us which is your favorite and why.

Pinterest -
Twitter - -

Hmm, I think they all have their benefits, sorry, don't have a favorite.

5. What is a TV show or movie or song you could listen to or watch over and over and over and never get tired of...feel free to name one of each! I could probably watch Nashville over and over again and not get sick of it. 

Hope everyone is having a lovely Sunday-Funday!

Friday, November 2, 2012

Friday's Letters

Dear CMA Awards... thank you for putting on (another) amazing show last night. I love country music and love seeing the performances. I don't care who wins what award all that much. They are all great in my opinion. Dear Progressive Snapshot... I'm glad that you saved me a whole 1% on my car insurance and I'm glad you are giving me another chance to save more. BUT, can you please, please, please make a sensor that discriminates between my bad driving and me having to slam on my breaks due to a senior citizen who pulls out in front of me and slams on their breaks? Dear (my dog) Princess...  you are 7 years old, by now you know what our cars sound like in the driveway. PLEASE stop barking and waking up my son when someone who lives here pulls up. I don't need a glass shattering bark to inform me they are home. Dear new bed sheets... thank you, thank you, thank you for being so cozy. I love you! Dear Holiday Season... Why do you have to show up so quickly and why do you have to fly by so fast? Will you please stay and let me enjoy you this year? Dear Political Ads... PLEASE. GO. AWAY. I'm not sure I can handle you for 4 more days!!! This has been the nastiest, meanest political season I have experienced. On the other side, I wish people weren't dumb enough to actually believe what is said in the ads is true.